Yes, “titleless” is not a word except I just typed it and so now it is.
Aren’t words fun? 😜
It begs the question as to whether it matters what words we use, spelled incorrectly or not, as long as you know what I fucking mean…
At least, that’s what I’ll keep telling myself.
I mean isn’t the point of communication merely to convey an idea from one’s mind into that of another’s?
Does it really matter what symbols we use as long as you get the fucking gist?
Perhaps at this point, you may be wondering where I am going with all of this….
Well, young Bucky, that makes two of us.
I haven’t the foggiest idea what I am going to write…
And I like it that way.
There May Be a Point to This…
And maybe not…
Regardless, welcome and thank you for tuning into another installment of aimless random thoughts spewed onto the inter-webs…
Perhaps the reason for my rambling has to do with my current state of mind?
Yes folks. I’m tired, and in the spirit of thriving beyond trauma, I have been doing hard shit.
And I don’t mean heroin or cocaine…
For the last five days, I have been working for a tree service in 100 degree weather.
So there’s that.
And Tuesday I even went to CrossFit after working all day.
Thank you David Goggins for the motivation to do hard shit (except he hates the word motivation… we’ll save that for another rant… oh wait, I already have—see post https://greenleaf4life.blog/2022/06/23/motivation/)
I am writing today despite my clearly scattered mind.
After writing such an inspiring post last time (https://greenleaf4life.blog/2022/08/04/you-call-this-a-storm/), I think it’s okay to just blah blah some mediocrity to at least keep the writing muscles going.
It’s only my fucking dream.
I had a writer friend once tell me to write every day, even if it’s shit.
So here it is.
I’m on a real roll here going from Triumph the Insult Comic Dog who notoriously says, “for me to poop on” to Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.
Well, ’tis the season.
Okay, where was I going with this besides down the toilet?
Doing hard shit…
Not taking one on the interwebs.
If you’ve made it this far, I guess I’ll try to come up with a point besides potty jokes.
And shitty ones at that.
Now, I’m just mentally masturbating at your expense.
Let’s see here…
Don’t rush me.
So yeah… Doing hard shit.
When I started this new job, I was a little nervous.
The idea of working in excessive heat, climbing palms trees, and the possibility of meeting scorpions and other common Arizonan critters was a little daunting.
The first day of work I got to find out what I’m really made of.
As our boss began to dump large portions of a mesquite tree in the soon-to-be sweltering heat, I realized keeping my break-neck pace of debris removal was not going to be sustainable.
I tend to have two speeds: Off and On.
I learned that day I have a slightly slower speed that would be necessary for sustained physical exertion as the temperature climbed.
I also became very aware that to remain productive in that heat, I would not only need to drink tons of water but repeat the mantra over and over again, “Just keep moving.”
I don’t know if you’ve been in a space like that were your ears are throbbing with the beat of your heartrate whilst pouring sweat out of every orifice, but it is clearly a mind-over-matter situation.
I almost started another sentence with the letter “I.”
Shit, I did it again….
It is what it is.
I am grateful that I started listening to David Goggins’ book, Can’t Hurt Me, for the third time because during that day, in particular, he was my internal coach pushing me onward.
All I had to do was keep moving and stay hydrated.
Things get real fucking simple when your mind tells you to quit exerting yourself, and you get to dig deep and choose whether or not to continue.
Except it looked more like this….
Maybe that’s a little dramatic.
But the point is (because it’s always important for me to feel like I’m making a point and write very long parentheticals) that I love (#lovenotlove) pushing myself to the point of quitting to (as David Gogins says – someday he’s totally going to sue me for using his shit, except he’s kinda cool, so maybe not. Maybe he’ll want to hang out? Wait, what was I saying before the paratheses?) the “quitter’s mind.”
That was a mouthful!
Yes, the quitter’s mind.
Again, to borrow (steal because I’m not returning it) David Goggins’ ethos, (is that the right word to use here?) by facing and overcoming the quitter’s mind, one callouses the mind. Again, shameless plagiarism here.
What can I say?
The guy has influenced me.
As he has said, and I am here to confirm, when one callouses the mind through extreme physical exertion, this resiliency transfers into other parts of life.
And that, young Bucky, is what I mean by thriving beyond fucking (added for emphasis, but you knew that) trauma!
But Did You Die?
I think I need to re-watch (or watch for the first time) The Hangover Part II because I use this line a lot and don’t remember watching it.
And no… I was not drunk and/or hungover in case you were wondering.
But it’s fair to wonder that.
Especially after the whole heroin and cocaine comment.
No. I did not die!
Yes, it would be a cool trick to write posthumously.
But alas, I am still here.
But no! Quite the opposite.
By facing the extremes of heat, hard work, and the quitter’s mind, I feel more alive than ever and am enjoying the fuck out of my life!
And since I’ve written last, many wonderful things have been happening.
In fact, I am sure that by suffering from time-to-time, one can truly enjoy the other facets of life much more.
To wit: a few weeks ago, I met a lovely human being to share more time with.
If you’ve been following this blog, you know what a rollercoaster the dating scene has been for me.
And to continue with that metaphor, it’s been more like a mine cart ride that randomly starts, stops, jumps the tracks, and dumps me out of the fucking cart periodically.
Yes, with a false start here and there, a few oaths to stay out of the mines altogether, I have reached the promise land of romance.
The pleasant irony of it is it was unexpected.
Sure, I lived in hope of finding the compatible-she whom I crave, but when I went into this adventure (if you recall) I had shaved my head thinking I was diving into the deep end of embracing my own ugliness. (see post https://greenleaf4life.blog/2022/07/27/once-more-from-the-top-this-time-with-feeling/)
Little did I know, underneath the down of ugly duckling feathers emerged a sexy-ass swan brimming over with confidence.
Yes, I’m asking you to imagine a bald swan here.
With this boost of confidence, and quite frankly, desire to just fucking be me, I found a magnificent person who meets me where I am.
Not only does she meet me where I am, she clearly adores me.
That, young Bucky, is nearly an indescribably wonderful feeling.
I’ve had a relationship or two (gross underexaggeration – also not a word, but it is now beeeeeoootch!) and have as of yet to experience the magnitude of adoration and connection this woman brings to the table.
It’s real and powerful and real powerful. 😉
And the feeling is mutual.
I adore her.
So yeah, we’re that couple that makes people sick in public.
We sit on the same side of the booth at a restaurant.
We are that cutsie-cutsie, affectionate that makes miserable people wanna barf couple.
And I love every fucking minute of it!
There’s a sense of optimism, hope, and security in finding someone I align with.
And it makes me grateful for all of the bullshit I’ve been through to get to this point. Not all of it was bullshit, but enough of it was.
Had I not experienced all of the ups and downs of the romantic rollercoasters, I may not be the person I am today to fully embrace and surrender to this experience.
And the great thing is, I just gotta be me.
No people pleasing.
Desires. (especially desire)
Doing hard shit.
And it works.
I am a happy man.
In all honesty, I started writing this Wednesday and am now finishing it up on Saturday. I changed some of the earlier sentences to reflect as much.
Nonetheless, the dream is still alive, and I am fucking living it.
I am thriving beyond trauma!
I say all of this to give you hope for doing the same.
If you’re feeling stuck, depressed, anxious, tired, alone, or all of the above, this, too, shall pass.
Sure, I am not writing as much as I was.
My life has changed, and I have chosen to make some adjustments to continue living the life I want to live.
You can, too!
Find out what excites you or you want to feel excited about.
Find a way to face your fear.
Remember that fear is mostly an illusion.
Do hard shit.
And I don’t mean cocaine and heroin.
If you want to be a writer, write shitty stuff.
If you want to make TikToks, record shitty TikToks.
If you want to meet the love of your life, date shitty people (it’s a numbers game – you gotta sort through the mismatches to find your person).
If you want to get more physically fit, exercise shittily (yes, a new word).
The point is, the Universe rewards effort, even shitty effort.
Take consistent action despite how you feel about it, and eventually, you will see results.
Learn to become comfortable feeling uncomfortable.
Do hard shit and you will find the promise land of inner peace, purpose, and happiness.
You can do it.
I know, because I can, and I am just like you… a bald swan!
But we’re all people with so much more potential than we give ourselves credit for, and happiness lies just at the end of the rainbow.
Be well 🙂
Thank you for reading another installment of Greenleaf4Life’s Thriving Beyond Trauma. It’s such a fucking relief to write about happiness again. Sometimes we have to go into the Pit of Despair (https://greenleaf4life.blog/2022/07/12/the-pit-of-despair/) to find the happiness within. But keep looking for it. You have everything you need inside of you.
Please like, comment, follow, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I offer life coaching services to help you thrive beyond trauma. Drop me a line and we’ll chat.
You can also check out my podcast on all major platforms. This episode is a couple weeks old, but I have a new one waiting to be edited and will be out tomorrow.
You can also check me out on the socials:
***All references to David Goggins were blatantly and unapologetically plagiarized, except that I did reference him, so maybe it’ll fly.
Check out his book: (yes, this is the second link to it this post – I do what I want) 😉