And I mean that in the most affectionate way possible.
It’s a term of endearment and not pointed at any particular gender in this context.
Maybe as a cis-male, (and a white one at that – d’oh!) I haven’t earned (nor ever will) the right use that term?
But today I’m feeling particularly spunky, and that’s the first thing I thought of.
Note to self: Learn to self-censor… sometimes.
You can call me a bitch if you want to.
Self-censorship is off to a strong start so far…
Yes, it’s not the most trauma-informed, woke term in the world.
But it serves well as a linguistical slap (dare I say bitch-slap?) across the face.
It makes a point.
What is that point, you may ask?
Beats the fuck out of me, but have patience, young padawan (or young Bucky, if you prefer)…
I’m getting there.
Enough is E-Fucking-Nough
As I’ve undoubtedly said before in a previous post (there’s too many to go back to reference at this point – just read ALL of them), one must get sick enough of their own circumstances before they commence to make changes.
Maybe it’s this one? Either way, there’s Star Wars references and Grumpy Cat, so it’s worth the read… (https://greenleaf4life.blog/2022/05/27/let-old-things-die/)
When the fear of change becomes less than the fear of things staying the same, we will take action.
I used to have an AA sponsor cleverly take a different stance on the Serenity Prayer by saying, “If I’m not here accepting things I cannot change, then I am undoubtedly out trying to change the things I cannot accept.”
If you read yesterday’s blog (https://greenleaf4life.blog/2022/08/02/maybe-do-as-i-do/), you know that I have inventoried areas where I am falling short, and I don’t mean my height.
One might even say… my sins…
Before you get your tit all twisted up about my use of a highly-loaded religious term, let us remember the root of the word “sin.”
“It’s a Greek word, spelled in Greek [that’s convenient] this way: ἁμαρτία. It’s also an archery term for when someone didn’t hit the target or put more simply missing the mark” (random Google reference).
So… (and I apologize for the vaguely sexist remark three sentences ago), I have been “missing the mark” in some areas of my life.
If we are honest with ourselves…
WE ALL ARE!
See how I try to indict you as an accomplice in this mad realm?
Let’s face it.
We’re in this together.
Let’s start telling the truth.
Okay, now I’m confusing myself.
What the fuck was I talking about?
I almost fell into the Multi-Verse on several tangential side (that’s redundant) rants.
Perhaps, that’s why I’m missing the mark…
The point is, by examining the way things have been going with my current occupation and financial status (or lack thereof), I made some changes and will be starting a new job tomorrow.
Or is it and?
I had to reach a point of critical mass and quite possibly a little discomfort with sprinkles of desperation on top to reach out and get said job.
Our life coach is doing what every other fucking adult is expected to do…
But am I?
Regardless, before I go on to the next subheading to address the above rhetorical question, one must get sick enough of their current circumstances before fully becoming willing to let that shit go, get off your (I mean my) ass, and do something about it.
So if you’re hanging in there feeling miserable by the shit you’re compulsively doing, I’m not going to say stop it.
Keep fucking doing it until you can’t stand it anymore.
Fuck that skunk until the stink is unbearable.
Get it out of your system.
After all, we’re looking for commitment here.
And commitment requires passion.
I Just Made That Up
And damn it sounds good!
Maybe I can sell t-shirts?
Okay, perhaps for most of you, commitment doesn’t require passion.
Maybe it’s a maturity thing (which I claim no stake in).
For me – a person who wishes to be “uncommon amongst uncommon people” (in a humble sort of way), I need to tap into passion to stay committed.
I am not saying you need to be a ripped Black dude that does incredible things (unless that’s your goal)…
If you want to find sustaining happiness, find your purpose and passion.
As I alluded to below the last of my many gifs, this job of mine is a means to an end.
It is not my intention to be a career arborist (again).
You may have noticed I have passion for writing and trying to be of service.
And one way I can continue to do that is to push myself mentally and physically.
This tree job simultaneously excites me and scares the hell out of me.
No, I’m not thrilled about climbing hornet-infested, flimsy-ass palm trees.
However, I am excited about callousing the mind and doing hard shit.
Climbing tall trees in 100 degree weather is just another exercise in stretching my mental fortitude – or put another way, my resiliency.
Physical feats which require sustained effort and facing one’s fears makes living through life’s ups and downs more tolerable.
To thrive beyond trauma, I need to challenge myself and toughen up the courage mechanism.
Yes, “Fear is the mind-killer” (Dune by Frank Herbert).
For fuck’s (or is it fucks?) sake, I jumped out of a motherfucking airplane less than a month ago!
Now climbing tree after tree has more room for error and potential for catastrophe…
But only if I think about it. 😉
So as they say in some AA meetings, “Face your fears and grow.”
And the person whom I am growing into is using this experiment of doing hard shit as an example and catalyst to inspire others to do likewise.
No, I’m not saying go out and climb a fucking tree (again, unless you want to).
I’m saying, find out what the fuck excites (and scares) you and fucking do that!
Learn to push past pain.
The secret ingredient to that is finding your passion and living it!
Freedom lies beyond the pain.
Back to the Title
I could just as easily make this the conclusion, but let’s make it the pre-conclusion and really exhaust the fuck out of this point I’m trying to make.
Remember when I was talking about getting sick enough of shit to let it go and do something different?
As mentioned in yesterday’s self-revealing rant, I admitted to recently resuming the habit of smoking cigarettes.
Yeah, that shit’s gotta go.
So this post is a self-directed (and hopefully inspirational for you) message to shit or get off the pot. (see https://greenleaf4life.blog/2022/06/09/shit-or-get-off-the-pot/) I don’t remember what the hell I wrote in that post, but since it’s title is what I just fucking said, it bears referencing.
Friday, I am quitting smoking.
Why, you might ask, I don’t do it today?
Because I still have cigarettes left and 8/5 equals 13.
Now do you understand?
Doesn’t matter… it makes sense to me. 😉
Moving right along.
What I’m trying to say here is talk is cheap.
And I’ve been doing a lot of talking… or writing, well, and talking.
If I want to be the man of integrity and resilience I imagine myself to be, simply, I need to put up or shut up.
Watch my feet, not my mouth.
(They both run fast.)
And don’t even get me started on my mind’s velocity… but you already know.
If I want to do as patron saint, David Goggins, preaches, ie. “be uncommon amongst uncommon people” and “stay hard…”
…then I need to push myself.
I welcome the challenge of facing nicotine withdrawal, facing the fear of falling from a flimsy-ass palm tree, and experiencing heat exhaustion from working in 100 degree temperatures.
Do you know why?
Because I know I am fully living.
Again, these exercises in personal development need not specifically apply to you to get the gist and push yourself.
But by all means, stop saying, “Someday, I’ll…”
Do the fucking thing!
Whatever it is that excites you…
I’m done with the fucking “someday” bullshit.
Shut the fuck up and do what you say you want to do.
The Universe honors and rewards effort.
Even if your efforts are strenuous and you see no immediate results, you are making progress.
All effort is progress… even if you fuck up or it hurts.
Do not wait until you are “ready” to do something.
Here’s a hint.
You’ll NEVER be ready.
I mean if you want to be a pilot or a heart surgeon, be ready before you do that shit. At least learn a thing or two first.
But just get started.
Go to school.
Take the flying lessons.
Call the school’s advisor.
Call the… I don’t know what the fuck flight school people are called… but fucking call them!
Oh yeah, flight instructors.
Make an appointment and fucking go to it!
Pick a date.
Call the fucking tree service.
Go to the first day and climb some fucking trees.
Do the damn thing!
Okay, so I feel like I blew my wad already in the pre-conclusion…
So I hope you got the fucking point.
Do the damn thing!
Stop talking about it.
Stop thinking about it.
Just fucking do it!
Be well 🙂
Thank you for reading this latest installment of my impassioned self-pep talk. Although I talk (almost exclusively) about me and my journey, I sincerely hope you can relate and feel inspired to thrive beyond trauma. Hell, if I can do it, anyone can!
I offer Life Coaching services! If you think you’re ready to dance with the devil by the pale moon light (I mean face your fears and get some shit done), reach out to me. Like, follow, comment, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Check out my latest podcast episode found on all major platforms, and stay tuned as I join forces to co-host a few episodes on a respectable podcast.
Be sure to check me out on the socials… if you dare.
TikTok @greenleaf4life (it’s just pretty much the same shit as on Instagram)