On The Edge is In The Middle

Just the tip…

Okay, you perverts! Now that I have your attention… 😉

What, you may be wondering, is this guy talking about?

On the edge is in the middle?

Just the tip?

Of course it doesn’t make sense, yet…

But as you will see, the only way to live a satisfied life is to live on the edge of your comfort zone…

Then, and only then, will you actually be living in the middle of life!

Get out onto the tip of your supposed security, and pierce through the unknown like a spearhead whirling through the air…

It is only there you will find freedom and fulfillment.

Trust me…

The Status Quo

Last week I was railing on about Henry David Thoreau’s quote, “Most men [people], lead lives of quiet desperation.”

This quote has been the war cry of many-a-restless soul who’s had e-fucking-nough living in (what Tara Brach calls) a “Trance of Unworthiness” (https://www.tarabrach.com/inquiring-trance/).

Tell me if this sounds familiar?

It’s Monday morning. You wake up and curse the alarm clock, hit snooze, and begrudgingly wake up for work.

Your mind begins to conceive of all the things that will probably go wrong at work.

You think about all the time you wasted watching Netflix or scrolling social media this weekend and that list of things you wanted to do, but didn’t.

You start looking at the news and the weather.

People are shooting children, and it’s going to be another 100+ degree day outside.

After your cup of coffee, you take a shower and can’t bear to look at yourself in the mirror. “I’m ugly, fat, have bags under my eyes, I’m old, anxious, depressed, alone…”

You get in the car that you’re making payments on and going to a job you don’t really want to do because you HAVE to pay for this car, the rent, your credit cards, medications, your various entertainment subscriptions.

You pull up to the gas station and someone races in front of you to get to the pump first.

The price of gas is nearing $6.00 per gallon (over $7 in some places).

You wonder, how am I going to afford to drive to work? They’re not giving me a raise that’ll cover the cost of living.

After fueling up, you try to pull out of the parking lot onto the street and no one will let you out.

There are people with cardboard signs staring at you, pleading for a little help.

You avoid making eye contact with them because they look scary and you feel guilty.

Once you do get out in traffic, the person behind you is tailgating you when you clearly cannot go any faster because of the car in front of you.

Get the gist?

You haven’t even made it to work yet, and you are a slave to the status quo…

Why bother?

Right?

Before You Jump…

Okay, now that I’ve thoroughly depressed you (and myself for that matter), let’s talk about choices.

Sure, one could reframe the above scenarios and start looking at it from a privileged standpoint and lace it with gratitude.

You have a home, you have a job, you have a car, you have money to fuel it…

And that gratitude and shift in perception will carry you far…

For a while…

And maybe this is one of my character flaws speaking, but I carry in me a restlessness that knows there’s more to life than living this way.

Yes, I am grateful for the life I have.

I have a home.

I have a job.

I have a car.

And at the same time, these things feel like fucking shackles around my legs.

I have dreams…

I trust the Universe is a generous place full of Abundance…

I see people all around me manifesting health, wealth, and freedom by practicing a certain mindset and taking certain actions…

I feel the energy welling up inside of me that believes I can have these things, too.

Before I can step away from the status quo, I have to become sick of it, visualize a better existence, and then take the steps towards living the life I dream of.

At the same time that I want something better, I embrace the status quo as a fundamental part of my journey. It’s not that I hate my life. I am very grateful for all of the ups and downs and the drive they ignite in me.

And I don’t know about you, but since I have realized I have dreams that won’t go away… living a life stuck in the status quo drives me fucking crazy.

The cognitive dissonance tears me up inside.

I’ve seen too much…

The bell has been rung…

It cannot be un-rung.

I HAVE to do something or I will sink into the mire of unfulfilled dreams and life will just be an existence…

I’d rather die…

It’s Not a Challenge

If It Doesn’t Scare You

Yes, that’s Will Smith…

I’m not necessarily saying you need to jump out of a plane, but it might help…

I have jumped out of a plane (with a parachute). I don’t know why I felt it necessary to clarify that.

It scared the living shit out of me.

At the time, I was a heavy pot-smoker and afraid of flying. I did it because I had recently turned 40 (six years ago), and wanted to check that box off my list.

It took a lot of weed to get me up in that plane and to jump out.

It was terrifying and one of the most incredible experiences of my life…

I swore I’d never do it again.

However, lately, I’ve noticed my resistance to it has all but disappeared. I have been discussing with some friends setting up a jump.

Why?

What has changed?

I think my threshold and tolerance for facing fears has.

How?

By routinely challenging myself.

By making it a practice to face my fears…

As I’ve quoted Mark Twain before:

Fear is the bogeyman… And it needs to be faced to learn to live free…

Courage is a muscle and it must be worked regularly.

I’ll give a small example and a bigger one…

So I’ve been meaning to do a burpee challenge for a while.

One of my coaches did 110 burpees every day during the month of March.

I like doing physical challenges that push my endurance because they make me more resilient to whatever life throws at me.

It’s all about overcoming the quitter’s mind (as David Goggins calls it).

When I can push through a long, difficult workout, I develop mental toughness and resiliency which carries over into the rest of my life.

It’s kind of like taking cold showers. When you can overcome your resistance to discomfort, you can accomplish many things.

So anyway, I’ve been intending to do a burpee challenge for a while.

I love the idea of it because most people hate burpees.

Which by the way, burpees hate you, too! 😉

I, on the other hand, wish to be an exceptional person, so I welcome difficult challenges.

On Saturday at the gym, I got reacquainted with a new member and she told me that morning, that she, too, loves burpees.

What kind of sick and twisted woman is this?

My kind of sick and twisted… that’s who!

So I proposed a burpee challenge with her, and eagerly (possibly cautiously), she accepted.

Without telling too much of her story, let’s just say her life started over again recently.

I suggested that every day we do two burpees for each day of her new life and then when we reach 100, we’ll do 100 burpees daily for 30 days.

We started yesterday with 54 burpees, and today we did 56.

We sent each other videos and hold each other accountable for it.

Here’s the rub about a challenge…

It’s not a challenge if it doesn’t scare you…

I don’t know if you’ve tried doing burpees before.

If you’re not familiar with them, check this out…

Fun looking, aren’t they?

Now, I’m in pretty decent shape (although I was sick for a week with COVID), but I’m able to get through these…

However, today, Day Two of the challenge, I woke up and was like, fuck… I have a bunch of burpees to do?

That’s when the mind goes to work against you…

I’m tired, my wrists hurt, I’m sore, I’m still sick…

Is this going to make me too tired to work?

Why am I even doing this?

To impress this woman?

Then the commitment voice starts up…

No!

I know once I start, I’ll get through them because that’s how I’m wired…

What if she flakes and doesn’t continue the challenge?

So what!

I’m doing it for me!

I’m challenging myself.

I’m building my resiliency to life so I can be exceptional and break free from the fucking status quo!

Raaaaaaawrrrrr!!!

Engage Beast Mode!

I find my why: transcending my mediocre life and becoming the person I am meant to be!

Strong and courageous!

Willing to face fear!

Lifts others up to their potential through my example!

So I start doing the burpees…

Then I hit about 16 of them, push four more out to 20 and have to stop to catch my breath…

There’s always this space when I start a high-intensity sustained workout where in the beginning my muscles and endurance fight against me…

They cry out, “NO!!!”

This is too hard!

I can’t do this!

That my friends, is the magic door to push past.

The quitter’s mind is the gate keeper, and the price of freedom lies in pushing past it!

Push past your fears and the mind that tells you to quit!

Choose to not believe the quitter’s mind.

Find the beast in you that is sick and tired of living in desperation and fear.

Fucking roar if you have too!

Find the dark places and pain in you psyche and channel that shit to keep you fucking moving!

This untapped resource is in you!

I promise.

I know, because I only recently found it in me.

I may be exceptional, but I am not special.

You have this too.

If something scares you and tells you to quit… Run straight at that thing and tear it’s fucking throat out!

You have it in you to go beyond where you think you can.

Always trust that you have more…

Overcoming your fear is a voluntary decision and deliberate action.

Push through pain to unlock the door to your freedom…

I’m Calling in Well Today…

Example two…

I’ve always wanted to call in “well” to work instead of sick…

When the boss asks, “Well?”

I’d say. “Well…. I don’t fucking working work here anymore.”

I think the comedian who wrote that delivered it much better than me, but I’ve always thought it was funny.

And the truth of the matter with my job is I am claiming wellness. So, technically by quitting, I am calling in well..

And at the same time, this morning my decision to leave my job scared me a little…

Mornings seem to be the time when I’m most vulnerable and my mind attacks me…

I practice not trusting my mind – especially in the morning.

The quitter’s mind wakes up 10 minutes before me and starts whispering in my ear everything that can and will go wrong.

Not to mention, everything that’s wrong with me, and especially why no one likes me….

Man that fucker ruined many days and years for me…

I’m grateful today to just ride the waves of the thoughts and feelings, watch them go by, and insert a positive message.

That my friends, comes from a regular meditation practice… but that’s another story.

Having said all of that, I’ve come to believe that if something scares me (and quite frankly excites me) that’s the direction I need to go…

That fear is telling me I am on the edge of my comfort zone…

And by being on the edge I am right in the middle of life!

The people in history who accomplished great things faced tremendous odds and certainly had to find a way to push past their fear and discomfort…

Well behaved people rarely make history.

If you look back at all of the great leaders, spiritual or otherwise, they overcame great adversity to effect a positive change in the world.

This, folks, is your mission should you choose to accept it.

Yes, I am scared that I am making a huge mistake quitting my job.

I am leaving a reasonably “secure” position with guaranteed income and (albeit shitty) insurance.

Most people in our society would think I am foolish to leave an honorable and secure position as a mental health case manager to chase my dreams and deliver fucking food.

The food delivery is the supplemental income until my life coaching takes off.

Today, I am willing to look like a fool to chase my dreams.

I am willing to stand up to ridicule to honor my Sacred Calling.

Like I said last week, to thine own self be true! (https://greenleaf4life.blog/2022/06/10/to-thine-own-self-be-true/)

Every test I’ve taken in school, every performance I’ve done on stage, every fucking tree I climbed as an arborist gave me that same feeling of fear.

Sometimes the fear was just that of failure…

Sometimes it was fear of death and dismemberment… (just the tip) 😉

And it was at those moments that I rose to the occasion and performed.

I not only performed, I excelled!

Fear fuels the performance!

Let me qualify that… managed fear fuels the performance…

Panicking and being terrified will fuck things up.

The key is to feel that pit in your stomach, the butterflies, and to breathe through it, affirm that no matter what, you will do great, and then fucking go!

Jump into the deep end!

Even if the water’s frigid…

You’ll emerge a new person – fully alive!

Living on the edge of the spear whirling through life is where freedom lies…

I will channel my nervousness to fucking hustle and make these dreams come true.

Manifesting isn’t just about sitting around imagining positive shit happening…

You have to do the work!

You have to take the leap!

God can move mountains, but you better bring a fucking shovel!

Quitting my job may sound insane to some folks…

But in my mind, I am honoring who I really am, what I really want, and making the sane decision to align my behaviors with my values and desires…

Keeping a job I do begrudgingly is insane…

Choosing my own path is an act of wellness…

So… today, I am calling in well…

And so should you!

Conclusion

If you feel like you are trapped in your life and sad because of dreams not yet realized, step into the middle of life by stepping out to the edge of your comfort zone!

The only person holding you back is you.

Not society.

Not your parents.

Not your spouse.

And especially not what others think…

It’s you!

Get the fuck out of your own way!

Maybe your dreams and desires aren’t quite as grandiose as mine…

That’s fine.

Maybe you just want to go on a trip?

Or attract a love interest?

If you want to go somewhere – look in that direction.

Book the fucking trip.

If you can’t afford it, save the money.

If you can’t save the money, figure out a side hustle to earn more money.

If you want to attract a love interest, start dating!

Get around more people you might want to date.

Sign up for an online dating site.

You know what’s sexy as hell?

When someone does something they love to do!

Find out what you love to do and do that!

That will make you more attractive to the people you want to attract.

The point is, find your edge of what’s holding you back and take the leap!

What’s the worst that can happen?

You won’t get what you want?

You already don’t have what you want.

Find the thing that frightens you and do that.

That is living on the edge so that you will be in the middle.

Embrace the nervousness as a signal that you are alive!

Take risks.

Tell the person you like that you like them.

Quit your fucking job!

Hold a demonstration in public to challenge oppression.

Tell people no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes!

Jump out of the fucking plane!

Be the edge of the spear whirling through life in uncharted territory.

Ignore the voice that says, “I can’t, I shouldn’t.”

Get out on the edge…

Just the tip… 🙂

Be well

Thank you for reading another installment of Mastermind Theatre. Maybe I’ll come up with a different name than that? Maybe I’ll call my blog/podcast, “Just the Tip.” That’ll attract a niche crowd for sure… Okay, maybe not. If you’re tired of leading a life of quiet desperation, I offer Life Coaching services. Like, follow, comment, and reach out. We’ll get you on track!

https://www.instagram.com/greenleaf_4_life/

TikTok @greenleaf4life

6 responses to “On The Edge is In The Middle”

  1. I fucking love your post’s!!! You are a bright fireball of positive energy and I fucking love reading what you write. When you said that living how we’re supposed to, like paying bills, waking early to go to work, buying gas for our vehicles, paying insurance. Basically living the status quo drains the fucking life out of you making those things we’re supposed to be grateful for, feel like vice grips on our ankles weighing us down and keeping us down. I fucked up several times throughout my life and the last run in with the law I ended up serving damn near 5 years in prison. That was a fucking cakewalk compared to living out in the free world having so much responsibility to stay on top of. Because it will completely and utterly make you feel like you can’t breath as if you’re drowning and can’t keep your head above the waves in the ocean you’re stuck in the middle of. When I was incarcerated, I thought it was the easiest shit ever. I had a bed to sleep in, roof over my head, 3 meals provided everyday. phone time so I could call home every night, and money put on my spend account by my husband every month. With which I would go grocery shopping with stretching it out till the 3rd of the next month rolled around. They sold loaves of bread, potatoes, veggies, bags of cereal, coffee, cream, sugar, damn near every kind of little debbie snack you can think of. Cases of different flavored ramen noodles.All kinds of fruit, bananas, apples, oranges, canned fruit, everything a regular grocery store sells. Another reason I loved this post is because my son needs to hear every word of it. I don’t know if he reads like how you’re talking (pumped & energetic) like I can, but if he does I know he’ll love it just as much. He and his stepdad ain’t been getting along here lately because he’s still living here. He moved back after his last roommate kicked him out. He was only supposed to stay a few months. That was 3-4 years ago. So, my husband is ready for him to spread his wings again and it can’t be soon enough. I need your help with something. How can I explain to my 60-year old husband (who’s also 20-years older than myself) that when he talks down to my son he’s hurting his feelings, making him feel like the worst piece of shit ever?? I rarely ever hear my husband say positive or encouraging things to him. It makes my blood boil on the surface but I have to put up this front. Like I’m calm, cool, & collected. When inside I wanna rip his fucking head off and shit down his throat so he’ll get a taste of how he makes my son feel. He too, like me his mom, suffers from insecurities and depression. A part of my (almost) 22-year old son is afraid to be on his own for fear of fucking up and letting his stepdad down even more than what he think’s he already has. I told my son I didn’t even know how to be the responsible adult I’m supposed to be all the time. I’m still learning & fucking up. Except now when I fuck up the law and serving time isn’t involved. I’d appreciate your input & feedback.

    Like

    1. Hey BooBoo – thanks for reaching out and don’t sweat the long response.! It sounds like you could relate and have a lot on your mind.

      I also hear your frustration about the interactions between your husband and son. It makes sense you’d be the protective mama bear. That’s what good moms do!

      As for your situation, I’d encourage you to think about how you feel and what you want when your husband talks to your son the way you described. When you are not seething with anger, I would approach him and simply say something along the lines of I notice that when you say negative things to my son, I feel very angry, and I’m asking that you try to be more encouraging of him.

      If that’s a conversation neither of you can have, you may want to seek therapy to learn communication skills.

      Good luck and be well!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your advice. I really appreciate it very much. And thankfully we are able to have calm communication between us. It took me a lot of years to become the responsible adult I am now. I wasn’t always this calm and collected. Weird how I’ve always had patience as far as dealing with children, small children. But when it comes to adults blatant lack of common sense, patience I don’t have. So, when I get fed up I can now speak calm and cool. Where as in the past, I never had any act right in me. Quick to argue and even at times physically fight people. Being the positive romodel I am now, both my grown ass kids are proud as hell of me & my ol’ man. It took about 7-10 years for me to finally mature all the way. Now that I’m here, I’m definetly not gonna fall back to my old ways. It’s funny because the first arguement between my ol’ man an I made him more pissed off than usual because I didn’t feed his anger. I looked him dead in the eyes an said “I love you”. Then I walked away. That burned his ass more than anything cause he expected me to pop off like I used to before I learned not to be self destructive. That was an still is a hilarious freakin day to me. Now he really knows an sees in me the change I went through an how much I’ve really grown into the woman I am today. But I love reading your posts. I took some of your quotes and wrote them down reading them to my son when he got home from work last night. He said it was crazy I chose the things I did, because he was literally jus having a convo with one of his friends an they basically were saying the same. Because my son was one of those complainers doin shit with his life. Now he’s determined to be moved out by this coming friday. My husband found him an apartment fully furnished with utilities included and I couldn’t have been more happy. Neither could my son, Nick (his name). I get so much positivity from the pieces you write. Please don’t change up who you are for nobody.Be well God Bless

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hey there!

        I’m so glad to hear about how you have developed and about your communication strengths with your husband! Effective communication is key, and I especially love how you choose not to engage in an argument when things get heated. It’s always wise to walk away and revisit a topic with cooler heads. It shows respect for yourself and your husband.

        I’m also glad to hear that my advice helped and that you coincidently shared stuff with your son that he and his friends were talking about. The Universe if funny that way! I love synchronicity!

        And thank you for the encouragement to keep being my authentic self. As a writer and mental health advocate, I’m sure you know that we have stigma pressure against us that could cause us to water down our message. But fuck that! Thank you for reminding me to be me. And thanks for your continued reading!

        Be well!
        David

        Liked by 1 person

      3. The pleasure is all mine I assure you. Don’t go anywhere because I’ll probably reach out to you again. You offer up great fucking advice. Keep being your unfiltered self. I like the originality of your spoken words.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. sorry for the 4-page-letter I just wrote to you. Lol.

    Liked by 1 person

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