There is Life Beyond Trauma. This is my first post and proof that we can rewrite the narrative that holds us back from being who we want to be. This morning, I woke up (really didn’t sleep that well) with shoulder pain from a workout I did Saturday. I also woke up feeling a little under the weather.
My goal was to get up at 4:30am to get organized for creating this blog and participating in a new business coaching group. At 4:18am, I decided that I was in too much pain and needed to rest more. In the past, I would’ve shamed myself for doing this, and truthfully, I did feel a little anxious after getting up at 6:30 like I was running late and in trouble.
The difference today is that I know I am not a victim and have nothing to feel guilty about. My shoulder legit hurts, and I showed up for work, the business coaching workshop, and I am typing this blog right now.
For a very long time I “worked on” my trauma. I have done a lot of different therapies, read books, gone to support groups, practiced self-love meditations, inner-child work, etc. I even smoked weed because I just wanted to feel happy. (The weed backfired and just added to my anxiety and eventually manifested as panic attacks.) If it works for you, you do you, boo, but it didn’t for me.
All of the therapy and self-help work was necessary, but “healing” from trauma became such a part of my identity, that that’s all I was – someone who was wounded and perpetually healing – a victim.
Earlier this year I joined a CrossFit gym (I’m not promoting CrossFit here 😉 ), and listened to an audio book by David Goggins called Can’t Hurt Me. He, like me, experienced a horribly abusive childhood. In his book, I heard things like, “No one’s coming to rescue you,” and “Stop making excuses,” among other things.
I got to a point where I literally got sick of my own excuses. I’ve learned through pushing myself physically with extreme exercise, my mind began to harden and I could push myself past my own comfort zone. It occurred to me that the more resiliency I developed to physical, psychological, and emotional pain, the less I cared what others thought of me.
The less I cared what others thought of me, the happier and more confident I became. As I started working out more, I also noticed how much I enjoy encouraging others to push themselves. I’ve wanted to be a therapist for a long time, and I’ve always enjoyed helping people see their strengths and encouraging them to pursue their dreams and full potentials.
This is where Greenleaf4Life was born. I am not going to go into more student loan debt and take on a burnout therapist position at a non-profit. While that work is admirable, I believe I have a Sacred Calling and the Universe is directing me to attract Abundance and be of service right now!
I don’t believe the Universe wants me to live in poverty to do this work either. The more I make, the more people I can help. I’ve fallen into the mindset of thinking that to be truly of service (and humble), I need to live a life of poverty. I’ve come to believe that is a scarcity mindset and while it may work for others, it’s not the life I want for myself or others.
The Universe is a generous and creative place, and like it, so are we generous and creative. My journey with Greenleaf4Life is to coach people to let go of limiting beliefs, achieve their full potential (whatever that looks like to them), and to pay it forward. Today we learn to live beyond trauma and grow as One!